It's Just Water

I was recently out to dinner in Charlotte, asking the waiter if he could start me off with a glass of water when I was taken aback by his response, "Flat or sparkling?". Immediately questions began rushing through my mind: Are we in LA? Does flat water mean tap water or bottled water? Are we going to have to pay for water now? It's not like we're in Mexico and should only be drinking bottled water. We're in the good old United States of 'Merica where one of the perks is that you can drink the water straight from the tap! It's even good for your teeth because there's fluoride in it! So how in the world have the Hollywood types influenced our little town so that we can no longer drink from the spicket? That, I'm not sure of, but I'll tell you one thing, if a restaurant here tells me I have to pay for "flat or sparkling," I'm going to the bathroom and filling my glass up at the sink.